Let’s see…where did I leave off?

“A cerebral aneurysm, what the hell is that?” Those were my thoughts at the time.

In short, it means the wall of an artery in my mom’s brain bubbled out and filled with blood. That very morning, the bubble ruptured and caused blood to leak into her brain.  

The survival rate of a person who is suffering from an aneurysm is unpredictable. The hospital staff called us in one by one to see her. I went in last, because I was afraid. As I waited for my turn, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.

I broke that promise when I walked through the blue doors of the ER and saw her hooked up to all types of machines. I looked at her, she looked terrified. I kept wishing I could help her and how it should have been me instead.

She cried as she told me to take care of myself. I ran out and broke down. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew she was leaving me.

Doctors and nurses were preparing her for surgery when my mother’s aneurysm ruptured a second time. The operation had to be performed immediately. My family and I sat, ate, slept, cried and prayed in the waiting room for nearly 12 hours while we were all wondering what was going on.

Finally, the surgeon came in and told us to go into another room. I knew about that room – they take families there to give them bad news. We all held our breaths when the doctor began to speak.

My mom lost more than two gallons of blood and had a massive stroke on the right side of her brain. She died on the operating table, but only for a few seconds. The doctors were able to save her.

We all cried in both sadness and relief. My mom was okay…for now.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. It was around 5:00 a.m. on the gloomy Monday morning of October 3, 2005 when my mom woke up with a terrible migraine. She was a tough cookie who was very stubborn when it came to her health, so instead of taking care of her pounding head, she decided to get ready for work. After getting out of the shower, she went up to my grandma who immediately knew something was seriously wrong.

My mom was extremely pale and began to gag as she complained about her head. Somehow my grandma was able to drag her up the narrow staircase and sit her on the edge of the couch. I woke to the frightening sound of my grandma barging in through my door, screaming in an unpleasant voice, “Arcel! Arcel! Wake up! Get up now!” The sound of the panic in her voice was all too familiar. Flashbacks flew through my mind of the morning my great grandma died.

I ran through my house assuming something happened to my grandpa, afraid I would find him dying on our couch just as my great grandma did. After all, ever since I was a kid, I always thought nothing could ever hurt my mom. She was young, smart, beautiful and strong. She was “superwoman.”

I was shocked to find her sitting on the couch, helpless and weak. At that second, I just lost it. Black eyeliner from the night before ran down my face as I cried in terror, panicking, not knowing what to do. All types of overwhelming emotions were running through me. I couldn’t help but expect the worse. My brother dialed 9-1-1 while my little sister held our mom, screaming and crying in confusion.

“I feel like my head is going to explode.” Those were the last words I thought I would ever hear my mom speak. Her eyes rolled all the way back into her head as she passed out on the couch. I grabbed her and yelled, “Mom! MOM! Wake up! Please wake up!” Nothing. No answer. No movement. I thought I had lost my mom and best friend forever. And just like that, without any warning, my life changed significantly.

To be continued…

BY DOMINIK MOSUR

EDITOR

Students in the Bayview/Hunter’s Point neighborhood will lose access to open space next year if Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s plan to close Candlestick Point State Recreation Area along with 47 other parks is approved.

Literacy for Environmental Justice, an education non-profit serving the Bayview community, is one group opposing Candlestick’s closure.

After signing their petition I couldn’t help but imagine the outcry from Pacific Heights and Marina District residents if the federal government announced the Presidio was being shut down to save a few hundred thousand dollars per year.

As California’s population surges toward 40 million we continue to build more houses, roads and shopping centers.

Our sense of freedom diminishes with every open space that is fenced in while the odds for survival of unique animal and plant species decrease.

Our governor is eerily out of touch to propose closing a park in an urban zone where open space is so hard to find, where so many lack access to a respite from the stress of city life.

Limiting access to Candlestick Point will remove it from the public’s consciousness and affect future plans for the site. Frequent visitors familiar with the park will not stand by idly while a piece of their commons falls to the bulldozers, an ever present threat for open space in the city.

Will another home for wildlife and a place to contemplate the quite perfection of nature, be enveloped by asphalt and concrete?