People Limiting Interactions with Others Leads to Widespread Consequences
By Ana Woods
The divide between ourselves and the people we encounter daily is alarmingly increasing. Striking conversations with others is becoming foreign, while we immerse ourselves in online realities to compensate for our social deprivation. It is imperative we reflect on our approach and begin to humanize our peers. Social isolation is not sustainable for a healthy society. If we encourage dangerous ideologies enabled by social isolation, we risk a never-ending cycle of hate.
Social isolation is caused by a variety of unchecked misconceptions. Many misconceptions stem from the ways we protect ourselves from the unknown intentions of others. We may believe that others are out to harm us by default. This belief is true when we are aware of the stigma associated with our identities such as our gender, income, social groups and interests. We predict social outcomes based on our insecurities.
We may distance ourselves from others if we fear rejection for who we are. However, despite our own fears, it is unlikely that we are being judged as much as we judge ourselves. While it is impossible to control the actions of others, perpetuating hypocritical behavior makes the misconceptions acceptable. We assume others intend to harm or reject us, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Despite individualism within our culture, the idealization of being alone is our reality. It is regarded as successful to be completely independent financially, socially and emotionally. Not needing to rely on others is associated with personal strength and self-realization. Contradictory to expectations of hyper-independence, we desire to connect with others and rely on others for our well-being.
German philosopher Schopenhauer uses hedgehogs as a metaphor for humans’ desire for intimacy. In the cold, hedgehogs desire to get close to others for warmth. However, their spiked bodies prevent them from getting close to others without both hedgehogs being harmed. The hedgehog’s dilemma is replicated by humans who desire emotional intimacy but whose fear of being harmed prevents it from being fulfilled. We create distance between ourselves and others to avoid being harmed but as a result, we are denied necessary connections.
Interacting with others online eliminates many human elements of socialization, such as a voice, face or physical proximity. Online spaces such as various social media platforms have been replacing genuine connections for parasocial relationships since they are presented as a less risky and more filtered alternative to social interaction. Online we only see others’ faces from a distance. Sometimes we see just a screen name, their words filtered and revised.
While communicating with others and reaching out online can be useful, it is not a replacement for all socialization. Social media platforms such as X, formerly Twitter, have become a place to spread hateful ideology and target those who want to belong. This is made easy by anonymity, which enables users to avoid confronting the humanity of others. This is dangerous because users seldom see the consequences of their ideas. Social media allows users to spread hate while avoiding accountability.
It is political resistance to humanize others; it is an embodiment of values. You have the autonomy to make choices in your conduct even if it contradicts developing norms. Audre Lorde, in a 1982 speech, asserts that “there is no simple monolithic solution to racism, to sexism, to homophobia. There is only the conscious focusing within each of my days to move against them, wherever I come up against these particular manifestations of the same disease.” We have the choice to reconstruct our lives.
To fight against oppression, we must have the intent to better our behavior. Social isolation is a result of and a perpetuator of oppressive ideas. Making an effort to understand others can lessen the fear or misunderstandings that cause social isolation. Nobody is immediately well-versed in social skills just as nobody resembles a bodybuilder after one day at the gym. Effort over time can make effective communication with others easier, allowing us to rely on others and develop our understanding of what it means to be human.
We can change behavior and stop cycles of hate with intention and self-awareness. It is vital for future generations to succeed as well as conducive to a better quality of life. Our social systems, both political and interpersonal, depend on trust and collaboration with others. When we take time to connect and share our lived experiences, we can overcome stigma, fear, and feelings of loneliness. By reflecting on our own actions, we can better our communities.