Dawmunik gon rly h8 dis hear hedline

Dominick Delgadillo
The Guardsman

I can’t believe we find ourselves here again. You are reading the third installation of a series dealing with how I feel the English language has been slowly crumbling into a series of garbled grunts and intentions. This time, I’ll try to sound less bitter.

Whatever happened to the days of old? Yes, I’m glad that a large chunk of us have moved past the racism and religious tyranny from those days, but I regret not being around when even drunken soldiers and sailors, home from war, could either praise or curse a passerby with literate accuracy.

I rLy DnT lYkE yOo
Despite criticism, the Internet is the first open source medium for the masses. It gives anyone who has the desire to say something the chance to do so… to the whole world. Of course, that requires the world to go looking for it via search engines. So, in reality, a posting on the Internet is little better than a billboard or a message in a bottle.

That said, the Web has been a breeding ground for shortcuts in communication like “LOL,” “OMG” and “BRB,” which were cute for somewhere between six and 10 seconds during the mid ’90s—and most likely first typed in a Pokemon forum. These godforsaken acronyms have somehow crept their way to the top of online language.

If the linguistic debauchery ended there, I suppose I’d be content with it. But it’s only gotten worse. This sleazy speech has mingled, seduced and conquered verbal interactions as well. I once again turn to the “30 going on 13” group of conversationalists who think these terms are perfectly acceptable.

I’m all for efficiency, but when it comes down to it, people need to learn that taking a moment to say all the words in a sentence can improve the likelihood of getting your actual message across.

Besides, an acronym isn’t always the best solution. Turning back to the Internet: It takes longer to say “WWW” than it does to say “World Wide Web”—just some food for thought.

Hey cell phone, predict this
With the expansion of text based communication to phones, text messaging once again ruins what educators have been trying to fight since the dawn of, well, education.

Predictive text is the downfall of educated society.

I am terrible at spelling. I’m also bad with remembering names, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. In this column, I doubt I will ever criticise writing based on poor spelling.

I do have an issue with predictive text. Not because it aids in spelling words, but because of the non-words it does in fact spell for you.

Most phones don’t acknowledge words like “tertiary” or “nonchalant” but will suggest words like “Starbucks,” “chibi” and “Nissan” as though they were more viable or legitimate. The unfortunate idea is the people who programed the phones probably had the consumer in mind when deciding which words were actually used more frequently.

I’ll leave you alone for now
Think what you will about English. It originated in war, got carried to Australia by criminals and was what George W. Bush attempted to speak. But in spite of its history, I love it and I don’t think there is anything wrong with having hope for its future.