Escape from City College

By Nick Palm
The Guardsman

My never ending education or: How I learned to stop worrying and love public schooling

During the last semester, I’ve grown a lot in many ways. One semester as the “opinions and editorials” editor was more than enough. Yet from it, I’ve grown as a writer.

I’ve also managed to grow physically. The daunting task of packing on my “winter weight” was a complete success: I’m finally warm.

I began this semester preaching about riding unicorns, rivers of whiskey, and other magically optimistic figments of my insanity. But after the beating I’ve taken over the last 18 weeks, I’d rather just eat the unicorn, and buy the whiskey from a liquor store.

I feel a little relieved though, because my application and essay for SF State was written, completed, and submitted with plenty of time before the deadline (six hours). The downside is, I won’t find out if I am accepted until around April, leaving me in educational purgatory for the time being.

And I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that my college career will probably last another three years—three long, expensive, gut-wrenching years. That is, if everything goes as planned.

But I must embrace it. After all, these are the best years of our lives, right? When else in my life will I be able to take 15 units of classes, while simultaneously working 45 hours per week… during a recession?

I’m almost certain the only thing keeping me from completely losing my mind this semester was a combination of support from my loved ones and, of course, the Giants winning the World Series.

I leave you with this

Writing this column was meant to help myself and others like me—“trapped” at City College for years, wanting to break out and move on with our lives and careers. If I was able to make just one student chuckle or think—simply relieving their stress for a split second—then I’ve done my job.

The following is some advice I’d like to give to all City College students. And I’ll try to not sound like a cult leader, rambling off his final sermon, hunched over a bowl of “punch.”

Students, you may be here for a while, so get used to it. And don’t be ashamed of attending a community college, we’ve actually got it pretty good here. Chances are, attending City College will never cause you to go into debt. And for the most part, you can actually register for the classes you want. From what I hear, attending a CSU, UC, or private college is the exact opposite. (Although I hear their inter-mural ultimate frisbee leagues are top notch!)

Take your time, and don’t rush into declaring a major. That’s what this school is for. Take a variety of classes you think might interest you until you find your fit. You’ll be much happier in the long run.

If you ever feel dizzy or lightheaded during a math class, simply open your mouth and suck in air. You probably stopped breathing, due to what I refer to as “Equation Overload Syndrome.”

Farewell my friends, and enjoy the Holidays.