‘Guardians” dazzles with 3-D imagery

By Greg Zeman,
The Guardsman

I want to preface this review by saying I rarely go to a multiplex theater to see films anymore.

I do love cinema, and I used to love going to the movie theater, but it has been a long time since a new movie has visually astounded me enough to justify the cost of seeing it on the big screen.

There have been a few recent standouts—interesting plot, well acted, tastefully shot—but overall, I find myself uninspired by the visual aspect of things. An exciting plot twist or a well-written bit of dialogue is just as good when experienced from the comfort of my couch.

Or maybe it’s just that computer generated imagery doesn’t do it for me.

I loved Guy Ritchie’s take on “Sherlock Holmes”—almost as much as I loathed the cheesy, CGI “set” for the film’s London Bridge finale.

“Avatar?” It was neat, but it was no “Captain Eo.”

Let’s just say, I prefer the 1981 “Clash of the Titans”—the one with Ray Harryhausen’s clay “dynavision” monsters—to the 2010 version with “high-tech” imagery.

So when I say that you should stop what you are doing immediately, head to the nearest theater and shell out almost $5 extra on top of the already absurdly high-priced movie ticket to see “Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’ Hoole,” you know that I mean it.

It’s a fantastic adventure through some very well-worn story themes, the kind you already know and love if you grew up on any kind of fairy tales.

Without delving too deeply into plot-synopsis, I’ll just say that a little owl with a big dream goes on a dangerous journey and makes some friends along the—do I really need to finish this?

You’ve heard this story a million times.

If you’re familiar with Joseph Campbell’s comparative mythology “The Hero With A Thousand Faces,” you know that heroes can come in all different shapes and shades, but you also know that, in general, they pretty much all do the same exact thing in every story.

So, with the understanding that a story rooted in the archetypal plot arc of a hero’s quest isn’t going to reinvent the wheel, you’ll be free to enjoy the synapse-baffling eye-candy of the film’s animation.

I feel like I should give a two-part warning, because this is a kid’s movie, but not a little kid’s movie. It’s directed by the guy who brought you “300,” so if you just imagine the graphic, slow-motion violence from that film, but substitute owls for sweaty, shirtless Spartans, you pretty much nailed it.

So if you can’t stand anything geared towards children, skip it. But if you are a small child who might be upset by the sight of, you know, vicious raptors battling to the bloody death with razor-sharp, steel talon armor…well, skip it.

The scene with the protagonist soaring through a driving rain storm—every nuance of every feather being splashed with exquisitely-rendered droplets of water—is the coolest thing I’ve seen on the big screen since E.T. traversed a moon-lit sky by flying bicycle.

My brain is still fried from how incredible the imagery in this movie was in 3D—I still can’t see the color blue, or properly pronounce my ‘t’s.”

Actually, I should probably have that checked out.

Regardless, I urge you to see “Legends” in it’s 3D glory, you will never be the same.