The Water Cooler

By Bonta Hill
Sports Editor

Happy Holidays to all of you who are still hurting your eyes to read my ink. This is the last issue of the semester so please, bear with me for another five minutes before you use this to wash your windows or for emergency toilet paper.

My Thanksgiving was good, but not great. I lost in the 23rd edition of the famed Blue vs. Green flag football “Turkey Bowl” game at Rossi Park. My record in that game dropped to 0-5-1.

What hurts even more is my roommate was on the winning side, leading to another year of harmless banter between us. Here comes another twelve months of me hearing about his two catches for 20 yards.

He also happens to be a die-hard Raiders fan. Watching them get smacked around by the Dallas Cowboys made my day a little better. There’s nothing like a quiet Raiders fan.

Of course, what I was anticipating most was the food. God knows, as college students we live off of pizza, dollar menus and the roach coach. Any opportunity to get a home-cooked meal — with leftovers — will always be a good day in the life of Bonta Hill.

Idiots of the Week
Welcome to the big time, Alan Davis and Benoit Roussel. These two boxing judges are now entering the Idiot Hall of Fame and should feel honored. Their decision to score a draw in the lightweight title bout between Ali Funeka and Joan Guzman was straight up absurd.

During the fight, which was broadcast live on HBO Nov. 28, these judges could only have been doing one of three things: checking their Facebook page on their mobile phones, getting ready to hit the mean streets of Quebec City, or sipping Hennessy, Ron Artest’s drink of choice. Last week Artest admitted to drinking Hennessy during the halftime of NBA games early in his career.

Funeka, the South African trying to claim his first world championship, dominated Guzman. Watching the bout, I was waiting for the referee to stop it — it was that one-sided.

How Davis and Roussel came up with a tie baffles me. You would be confused too if you’d seen Guzman’s face afterwards. I try to refrain from using cliches, but a blind man could see that Guzman was getting handled rather easily.

When the decision was announced, you could see even Guzman was shocked.

Funeka’s loud-mouthed promoter Gary Shaw and the HBO broadcasting team Bob Papa, Max Kellerman and Lennox Lewis — possibly the worst announcer to touch a microphone — ripped these judges apart and deservedly so.

With boxing having a great year and great promise for big fights in 2010, the sport cannot afford slip-ups like this. Davis and Roussel, these clowns, should be suspended for six months.

Part of the punishment should be watching the fight 100 times and having to explain again and again how the hell they came up with their decision.

Back to Artest for a minute; he should be one of the board members for the Idiot Hall of Fame. He probably has more qualifications than any sports figure out there.
What Davis and Roussel did though, trumps Artest this week. And that’s saying a lot.

Misc.
Staying on the boxing hype, Roy Jones Jr. got knocked out in the first round by some guy named Danny Green. Roy, time to hang the gloves up, please. You have nothing else to prove.

The super bowl of boxing is set for March 13, 2010. I can’t wait to see Manny Pacquiao fight Floyd Mayweather.

To switch gears, any thoughts on Tiger Woods? This column isn’t big enough for me to discuss that situation. I’ll just leave you with one word: WOW!

On a more positive note, a bright spot in the Bay Area sports landscape has been Stanford running back Toby Gerhart. This beast leads the country with 1,736 yards rushing and 26 touchdowns.

He probably won’t win the Heisman Trophy but he should at least get what’s owed to him and be honored as one of the top five players in college football this season.