The water cooler (8-26-10)
By Bontã Hill
The Guardsman
No, say it isn’t so? The Guardsman picked up the Water Cooler for another semester?
I know it’s shocking, mind-boggling and hilarious all in one thought. Yet, after watching newly appointed Editor-in-Chief Greg Zeman embarrass himself by begging me in front of two little hotties to bring this column out of retirement, I figured, “what the hell, more pub for me.”
All right, I admit I can be a little delusional at times and think that the Guardsman will never be able to move on without the ‘Cooler, but over the break, writing this column was the farthest thing from my mind.
As I went through summer announcing at the San Francisco Summer-Pro-Am two times a week, arguing with my roommate routinely about who knows what, and then, reinvigorated by writing for an up and coming high school sports website, I was looking forward to my retirement from the Guardsman.
However, after walking by bungalow 214 and getting a whiff of old newspapers, plus Zeman pleading with me like I was the Brett Favre of journalism, not even my participation of being in the nuttiest fantasy baseball league ever could stop me from being duped to sign on for eight more issues.
OK, so it’s not the worst feeling in the world. I could be the assistant coach who got slapped by Matt Barnes at a Pro-Am game (classic).
At the end of the day though, I am happy to announce: The ‘Cooler is back.
Speaking of coming out of “retirement”, guess who clinched his fourth straight “diva of the year” award (here at the ‘Cooler, we have awards for everything imaginable) and dominated ESPN for the last week?
If you guessed Favre you’re right.
Favre’s reason for coming back is that he feels he “owes it to the fans and Minnesota Vikings,” to play for one more season and try to lead the franchise to its first Super Bowl victory.
When the news was broke that Favre was on his way to Vikings headquarters in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, my homey, French Bread Picot Jr. threw a question out on Facebook, “Who’s the biggest diva of 2010?”
A. Beyonce
B. Lebron James
C. Chad OchoCinco
D. Brett Favre
After 19 comments, seven agreed LeBron was the biggest diva, and only three went with Favre. The rest were about who was cute, the OchoCinco show, etc.
I agree, Lebron’s “decision,” – the over-hyped, hour-long ESPN special – was unfathomable and he lost some stock in my book.
You can make a case for Lebron being the biggest diva, but Favre has been pulling this wishy-washy act for the last five years.
One week, Favre says his “heart is not in it,” the next month he gets the “itch back” to play football again.
It’s a slap in the face to backups Sage Rosenfels and Tavaris Jackson. They take the all the off-season repetitions, and then get this egotistical attention-grabber who just one day says, “Hey, I want to play.”
Yet, head coach Brad Childress doesn’t mind, as he sent three of his team leaders – Steve Hutchinson, Jared Allen and Ryan Longwell – down to the deep south to convince him to come.
Also, two assistant coaches lied for Childress, telling the media that the three players were inside the practice facility, when in fact Hutchinson and company were strong-arming Favre into a decision.
Last year, Childress had to go down to lovely Hattiesburg Mississippi (never been, nor do I plan on going), to convince Favre to play himself.
Yes, Favre is 40 and is a living legend, but to let one man decide to take off mini-camps and two weeks of training camp and create another pointless media circus (did you really think he was retiring?), is hypocrisy all around.
In my 20-plus years of watching sports, I can’t ever recall seeing an act like this. Can you imagine Peyton Manning or Tom Brady doing this?
One day Favre will a be a hall-of-famer, and be looked at as one of the top-ten quarterbacks of all time. But because of what he’s done off the field the last five years – making franchises hold their breath and pray for him to play – I’ll forever look at Favre as the king diva.