32-story, glass elevator at Westin St. Francis provides elevated perception

By Greg Zeman
The Guardsman

“Colts, 34-20”
Since recently making, and subsequently losing, an ill-advised Super Bowl bet, I’ve developed an interest in free entertainment. And since my bookie recently shattered both of my kneecaps, riding an elevator is pretty much the most physical activity I can handle. Thanks a million Bontã Hill.

Why an elevator?
In the words of famous abolitionist and adulterer Henry Ward Beecher, “It’s easier to go down a hill than up it, but the view is much better at the top.” And pushing a button in an elevator is easier than walking up a hill. If Beecher had known about the view I found, he might have just left out the hill part all together.

Go to Union Square and ask for Francis …
You will be visiting the Westin St. Francis for this decidedly cheap thrill – a sky-high ride in a 32-story, clear-glass elevator.

If you’re excited by the idea of “sneaking” into a crowded hotel with an open front door and “convincing” the uninterested staff that you are a guest, by all means, feel free to do so.
That being said, nobody cares. You can just walk in and follow the signs to the Tower Elevators.

“Going up sir”
I originally ventured to the elevators for the view, but you know, I’m not gonna’ lie − and maybe it’s because I’m a five-year-old boy − I was struck much more by the “whee-I’m-riding-in-an-elevator” part of it than the view.

Remember the scene in the movie “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” with Droopy the dog as the elevator man? The elevator shot up in the air so fast that it flattened Eddie Valiant to the floor like a pancake. If you’ve ever wanted to experience that for yourself, this is as close as you’re likely to get.

Step one: Press the up button
Step two: press the button for the  32nd floor. If you want to get all ticky-tack about it then, technically, step two is “get on the elevator” and step three is “press the button for the 32nd floor,” but whatever, I didn’t want a lot of steps, OK?

What happens next?
My recommendation is that you hold on to the railing and stand facing the glass to maximize what biophysicists refer to as the “oh snap” factor when the elevator launches your body skyward.

When you reach the top floor you will be treated to one of the better vantage points in San Francisco. Nothing makes a city look prettier than getting really far away from the smelly, noisy reality of it and squinting down through the soft fog that acts like Vaseline on the lens of a panoramic glamour shot.

Enough with the cheap and back to the thrills. On the way down, you rush past a spiked fence and then drop into darkness. With your face pressed against the glass it’s pretty exhilarating.
Riding up might be fun for about ten trips, but going down — more like 20.

Verdict
The ride is undeniably fun, but the good times only last for 32 floors. For an added thrill, look down the crack between the elevator and the 32nd floor – whoa.

Brass tacks:
•Where: The Westin St. Francis Hotel, 335 Powell St./Tower Elevators
•When: Anytime you like
•Cost: $0, FREE!